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GOING ON THE COMPUTER UNTIL MY HEAD HURTS

Working hard on my website today. I've just updated my stamps collection to contain all of my current scans, this makes me feel excited. I will scan the rest of my stamps soon! It is a bit tedious scanning all of them individually. At first I only scanned my favourite ones, I felt some sort of connection to them immediately. Some of the designs are very cute, they make me happy. Someday I will buy more stamps and increase the size of my collection, I like seeing them laid out side by side. Small details in cat stamps bring me a lot of joy.

I tried jumping my dad's truck today, it didn't work. I had to drive him to the store to buy a new battery. My car was fishtailing so much, the icy roads make me feel lightheaded sometimes. I get so nervous that I start unintentionally holding my breath. Afterwards I went to the grocery store and got some ingredients to make soup. Soup wasn't that flavourful though, it was warm. That is good enough for someone like me.

Having so much fun going on my computer! Pouring countless hours of my time into playing video games and listening to VN soundtracks on YouTube. I played CS for 4 hours until my head hurt so bad I couldn't look at the screen anymore. Eyup, I'm locked in. Locked in to everything I do always. Unable to become un-locked in. This is my beautiful fantasy of a life. Having so much fun cutting vegetables and cooking dinner for my family, this is the stuff that puts a smile on my face.

Take care!

DON'T GIVE UP, THE BEST IS YET TO COME

Hello, it's me the webmaster Natalie Crescentfresh. These days I'm not up to much, sitting at my can-littered desk downloading 40 albums off of Soulseek for no reason. I'm trying to commit to more fulfilling tasks, but ultimately I fail. It's difficult to crawl out of the "hating everything I do" hole. I don't want to be too negative on here, so I'll say at least the sun is shining through my window. Better things are always coming, no matter what happens.

Yesterday my mom and I drove to Stony Plain to get a dresser for the basement. Since our basement flooded, it has been a bit stressful but the opportunity to design the space again has been a good one. This dresser was one of the last pieces; the room is complete as far as I can tell. I'm just happy my record player is functional again, we listened to Santana. We bought the dresser from an antique mall, I love those places. Something about seeing the assorted vendor's knickknacks arranged in their own distinct ways makes me think about how someone could acquire all of this stuff throughout their lifetime, and how they could decide to sell it. Their personality shines through the anonymity of being a vendor, at the same time I'm just spinning a story out of likely unrelated items. Life isso fun! I don't need any of these things but they are visually interesting. It's important to drive to a faraway town sometimes and live a different life for a day.

Today I am continuing with the same routine as always; I'm already excited for the sandwich I will make for dinner tonight. As much as it can be fun to do something different, for me, nothing hits like my reliable comforts. I will always have delicious sandwich at the end of the day even if something really horrible happens to me. I don't need much to tip the scales in a positive direction. The line is thinly drawn, and I'm forcing myself to step out of sorrow as much as I am able to. You really can do anything, I do this thing called watever the fuck I want and yep it rules.

TIME MOVING ON THE WRIST

I haven't written here in a long time, I've been busy. I haven't forgotten you, I was thinking about you all of the time while I was away. I know I should dedicate more time, it makes me feel good to work on this.

I bought a watch two days ago, a Casio. The idea was that I would get it to wear at work since I can’t check my phone. Now it has become an important accessory for me, I’m staring at my wrist a minimum of 12 times a day. I never really had a desire to get a watch, but now only a couple days in I don’t know if I could go without. Putting it on feels so real, an immediate step towards action. If you’re reading this and you don’t have a watch you should go out and buy one. You will be surprised how much joy and light is brought into your life by this. If you’ve already got one, you understand. Maybe the novelty has worn off for you longtime watch wearers, take this as a sign to cherish what you’ve got.

I’m hitting the button to illuminate the watch just for fun. Most of the time it’s not even dark, it just feels good to turn my wrist over and press in a button. In this world you’ve got to create your own happines. I’ll take anything I can get. I read in the manual that you’re not really supposed to do that because it drains the battery, but I like doing it so much that I don’t even care. When that warm orange glow hits my eyes after a thrilling tactile button press it’s like an event is taking place, things are happening.